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METRO JIU-JITSU PODCAST - Competition For Your Child

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METRO JIU-JITSU PODCAST - Competition For Your Child

(upbeat electric music)

- What's up, everybody.

Welcome back to another
podcast with Metro Jiu-Jitsu.

I'm coach David.

- Coach Mohammad. Good morning.

- And so we got some good questions.

Did you work out this morning?

- This morning, I did not.

I did have my shake though.

- Did you? The beet juice?

- I had some, no, no beet juice.

- No beet juice? Okay.

All right. Okay.


He's just, you know, it's always,

I wonder what he's going to walk in with.

You know, next,

He always has something new to try.

- Yeah.
- So

- You like making fun
of me with my shakes?

- Ah no, I'm just, I'm jealous.

So that's a defense mechanism.

That's all it is.

- Cause you know the actual,

one of the world's
strongest men is a vegan?

- Yeah?

(muffled women voice on speaker)

Does he train Jiu-Jitsu?

- He's a power lifter.

- So sounds like he's
going to gas out then.

(muffled voice on speaker in background)

- Yeah probably, but he
could lift more than you.

- Well that's true.

There's a lot of guys who
can lift more than me.

I'm going to go kill it.

- Yeah.

One of the strongest humans
alive is actually a vegan.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's even
like borderline vegan now.

- Arnold? Arnold's vegan?
(imitating Arnold's accent)

- Arnold is vegan, yeah.

- Well he's, yeah.


All right, so we got some, good questions.

We're gonna do,

We're going to start into them.

If you guys have questions,
post them in the chat

or comments, we will
check those periodically.

And so, Mr. Dan Bronson says,

How the two of you guys doing?

This is one.

Are you going to open a gym in Monroe?

You know what man?

Monroe is, it's definitely
not on the books right now.

Monroe is...there's a gym
in Monroe isn't there?

- Yeah. What's his name up there?

- I don't know his name. I
know it's Monroe Jiu-Jitsu.

It's like, a little kind of.

It's like it's tight.

- I forget his name,

but he used to be a long distance runner.

- The coach there?

- Yeah , head coach.

He used to be a long distance runner

and I think he was a competitive runner.

Really nice guy.

- Oh, okay.

- Yeah.

Gone down there for a couple
of pretty big seminars.

- Yeah.

Yeah. Monroe, so I, yeah.

Monroe's not on the books man.

I grew up in Monroe.

- That's right.

- Yeah a lot of um,

I'll visit Monroe,

but I don't know if I want
to open a gym in Monroe.

- Yeah.
- Never say never. You never know.

But like-

- The Boy Scout you see here, Coach David,

was a different Coach
David back in Monroe.

- Yeah Monroe was, Monroe was -

Craig Churchill said one of
the best things about Monroe.

And if you're from Monroe, I'm sorry.

I mean, he's like,

" It's one of those cities
you just got to get out of."

He's like,

" It's just one of those
cities you gotta get out of."

Like, it's great. You grow up. It's fun.

They have the Fairgrounds
and the Custer Statue,

they have the River Raisin Parks.

It's awesome.

But I feel like you
either retire to Monroe

and like the historic district,

but you, you got to get out of it.

- Yeah.
I think there's like a world champion,

was it Bronco McKart or one of the,

A really, really renowned
boxer was from Monroe.

- Oh really?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- I think it's Bronco McKart.

- Okay.

Well, there you go.

- Yeah. There's some history there.

- Okay. All right.

So we hope to see you back soon.

Mr. Dan Scott.

What's up, Scott? How are you doing?

Scott, good morning.

His name, his name.

Good morning. His name is Scott.

- What's up Jesse?

- [Video Recording] This
is Scott, how we doing?

- So we've got a -

(video playing on Coach's computer)

what's that one going on?

- It's the Live on my page.

What's going on Jesse?

- So, okay, so how long does -

Mr. Justin says :

How long should I wait
before having my son

compete in tournaments?

He's only been in a class about a month.

Doesn't know any submissions.

So I was assuming to wait until

he had some understanding of at least one.

Part of me also thinks
experiencing competition

can be beneficial, either
way, thanks coaches.

So, we're one of the few schools

whose five-year-olds train submissions.

Everyone else,

they're like, they're scared of it.

They want to teach submission grappling

without the submission.

Which is just grappling, which is fine.

So, but a lot of times,

like as the beginner they don't even,

they're not even allowed
to do submissions.

- Yeah.
- So,

- Sometimes it's five, six,

maybe, sometimes it's even up to seven,

depending on the tournament.

- Seven...

- Years old?

- Seven year olds can't do submissions?

- I've seen tournaments,
yeah. Up to seven years old.

No submissions.

- Yeah. Yeah, that's - so,

Justin, to answer your question,

Yeah. We're very, I believe
in sort of like the process.

And so if you want your,

if you want them to compete,
then let them compete.

I mean,
if he's only been competing a month

and he goes against someone
who's been training a year,

then that's good.

That's good for him.

Like, we're not, you know,

we're one of those that like
compete to compete again.

You know, we're not trying
to like build the A team,

and we only bring the A squad
and you have to qualify.

Because, we regularly
bring the largest team

to tournaments that we support.

The tournaments we don't support,
we don't bring a team to.

But that's, so we show up in
numbers and people notice that.

And so being around his team,
being around his coaches,

being around his peers, giving, competing,

that is going to be,

I think that's going to
be beneficial, regardless.

So even he's got a month or whatever.

Plus he's scrappy,
- Yeah

- So that you have to consider that too.

If you take a six month old, or a dude

that's been training six months
and they're like, Scarlet.

Coach Mohammad said Scarlet's
still not allowed to compete.

She's been training 18 months.

So, so that's,

(sneezes) (coughs)

you have to kind of compare
that a little bit, so.

- I mean, I like, I make the,

the example is, if your son
or daughter was doing soccer

or even ice skating,

like they have competitions
after a bunch of practices.

- Yup
- You know what I mean?

So if they're. Yeah so
they practice all week,

and they get to know the coach,

the team, the system, and
what it is we're trying to do,

at game time or,

or go time,

you really have to test
it out in a tournament

to see if it actually works.
- Yeah.

- And you know, and quite
often, to be honest with you,

it's not really about the competing,

or winning or anything like that.

It's just about getting
the kids experience

to work under pressure,
to be in foreign areas.

So, we've got some questions?

- I don't know.

Is Scott the coach at Monroe?

- Ah, no. Scott, what's up Scott?

- Someone says his name is
Coach Scott with Monroe.

Are you seeing?

- I'm not sure.

No. Scott is actually a really cool guy

that was in the supplement industry.

- Oh, I gotcha. Okay.

- Scott was manufacturing
supplements for animals,

farm animals, pets, and yeah.

- What were they.

What were the animals doing
that they needed supplements?

- It was like a - it's in Michigan.

It's like a big
manufacturing facility. Yeah.

Yeah. Looked into making
their own line of supplements.

- Oh wow.

- Scott is definitely not a Jiu-Jitsu guy.

He is a grinder, weight
training, kind of guy.

What's up sis, how you doing?

- They.

You can be both.

You can be a weight trainer
and a Jiu-Jitsu guy.

- You can. Scott's buff though.

Scott is like, he's big.

I don't think Scott, I dunno.

Scott might have a history of grappling.

- He can get into it.
And so what do you think?

I have a question.

Like, what do you think,
this wasn't on here.

Somebody, I posted,

I think tongue-in-cheek
a little bit on Jiu-Jitsu

and they were saying,

After what rank can you,

are you able to like,
hold your own against

any size opponent?

Todd Williams, yeah Coach Todd, in Monroe.

- Coach Todd, yes.

Yeah. Send a shout out to Coach Todd.

- Yep.

- And if you're ever down in Monroe,

he's definitely got a
great place to train there.

Really welcoming.

- Yeah.

So what size do you think,

you could hold your own against anybody?

- I mean, I guess it depends
who you're asking, you know.

If you're asking like a 30
year old guy that's in shape,

that's been training for a few years.

You're probably going to know enough to,

when you say, hold your
own, not get killed.

You know what I'm saying?
- Yep.

- Not, you know, not killed.

Like we have a couple of guys in here

that are probably 250, that are jacked.

Like, when I say jacked, I mean,

these guys look like a
professional bodybuilder,

professional athletes.

You look at them and regardless
of your rank, it's like,

oh man, I don't want
to deal with all that.

So I think a couple years, you know

enough to kind of like close the distance,

whether you're on top or
bottom, just, you know,

keep yourself in a safe -
I'd say a couple of years.

(kisses teeth)

What do you think?

- Well, cause I'm thinking of,

when I think of that,

I'm thinking of up to a
hundred pounds spread.

- Yeah.

- So a hundred pounds,

so you take someone who's 150,

to be able to hold their own

against someone who's 250.

And I would say, and I'm thinking of 250,

like your jacked buddy.

- Yeah

- You know, not a sloppy 250
- Yeah.

- You know? Not your average
American 250 pounder, you know?

So like who gets winded
going up a flight of stairs.

So like I would say 150,

like 150 pounder to be
able to hold his own,

and, or submit?

Yeah. Probably four or five years.

Would like, without question.

Now, obviously everyone's different,

but I would say purple, you know,

you're looking at purple belt, you know,

you're looking at something like that.

You know, to where it,
cause a hundred pounds

is a big difference.

And he takes someone like Coach Callen.

- Yeah.

- He's tiny, he's strong for his size,

but you give him someone who's 250

and like works out five days a week.

Like that's, that's a handful.
- Yeah.

- That's a handful. And so it
takes like the technique to,

and unfortunately like the, you know,

cause he's not going against
250 pound guys every day,

he's going against 150 pound guys.

- Yeah.

- So that would be, I think
it'd be that, you know.

But it also, I think it varies too.

- Yeah.

I mean, I'd say once
you get to, my opinion,

purple belt level, three to five years.

You should be able to
like keep yourself safe.

- Yeah. Hundred percent.

- But then you take somebody like Jesse.

Jesse, how old are you?

- What is that? Bouchard?
- Yeah.

Jesse how much you weigh? Let me see.

- I feel like he's kind of packed.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Jesse is like, Jesse is
definitely under 200.

- Coach Todd Williams was an Olympian?

- Oh! An Olympian Runner.

- That's a whole new level.

- How much do you weigh Jesse?

- That's a whole new level.

Yeah. When you're dealing with like,

when you're dealing with,

while we're waiting on that answer,

when you're dealing with that
level of size difference,

like that's a lot to deal with.

That's a lot to deal with, for sure.

- Well, yeah.

Again, it goes, he's, wow.

You don't look like 200.

- Yeah. See, I believe that.

He's thick. Jesse's thick.

- Yeah. Well like he's,

Jesse's probably not,

he's not the tallest athlete,

but somebody like him is going against

a big jacked 250 guy.

He's been training more
than four or five years,

but he not only can he hold his own,

you know, at the five years, plus,

then you can start to like
generate some offense.

- Yeah, oh dude. No. Yeah. They, yeah.

Five years plus. I agree.

- Yeah.
- I agree.

- But I'd still rather avoid that fight.

- Yeah, man. You avoid every
fight, you avoid every fight.


Like, you know what I mean?

Like you avoid every fight.

Like I like, I do, you'd be surprised.

I intentionally like go out of my -

because it can go south.

Like it can always go south.

You know what I mean?

And like, and while Jiu-Jitsu is like my,

obviously our opinion's biased,

but single most important self,

like martial art there is,

you choose one Jiu-Jitsu,

next to your glock.

You know?

Like, they in a self-defense scenario,

like you just don't avoid it

because especially now, too,

I don't know how true this is.

I don't know if we have a
judge, lawyer, or something.

Like if they find out that
that we're black belts,

we get in a physical altercation

that could have been avoided.
- Yeah

- Now we're held to a higher standard

- Yeah.
- Same with purple, brown belts.

Same, hell, even blue belts, you know.

Like they're held to a higher,

they're like, oh, well he trained.

So they're going to think

you've got a chip on your shoulder.

That like, so it's just like,
I got nothing to prove, bro.

Like I got nothing to prove.

I got like,

you avoid the fight at all
costs because it's just not.

I can't think of a scenario
in which it's worth it.

- I remember one time,

about 10 years ago I was a blue belt,

and a university of Michigan
wrestler came in to the gym.

And he was,

he kind of had like,
you know, Jesse's build.

When you looked at him, you wouldn't think

this guy's in phenomenal shape,

but you know, he's in shape.

But as soon as you hear
U of M D1 Wrestler,

I'm like, oh my God.

- Yeah. That's a big deal.
- Yeah!

- That's like probably one of the most

well-conditioned athletes on the planet.

- Yeah. So what I did is
at the blue belt level,

I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God, whoa.

I have no idea what's
going to happen here.

So I, before I got taken down,

I pulled guard and got
him into a closed guard

and just started to work from there.

And then that basically
nullified his wrestling.

- Yeah. Yeah. Closed guard does a,

closed guard does

closed guard does it does really well.

Are you getting the comments on here?

I'm trying to read on an
iPhone from eight feet away.

It's not going too hot for me.

My eyes are the first
thing to go, I guess.

So that's that answers
your question, Justin.

So, we've got a follow up to that.

How do you overcome the
nerves of starting Jiu-Jitsu?

Like we get that a lot.

Like those 250 pound jacked guys

- Yeah.

- They come in here and
they're always coming in.

We're finished up our kid's class.

So the kids are, you know, doing matches.

And then I was like:

Hey, what's up man, coach
David, you know, whatever.

And they've got, they're like,

What's going?

I was like, you okay, you look nervous?

And they're all usually honest

and they're like, I am really nervous.

You know, I'm really nervous

because no matter how
big and tough they are,

there's something about Jiu-Jitsu

that makes it nerve
wracking to come in here.

Like you have to overcome.

I have mad respect for
anybody who comes and walks

in that door because you've,
could've been anywhere else.

You could be doing anything else.

And you could,

Jiu-Jitsu has a reputation
of not messing around.

It's not BS.

Right. And so it's got a reputation of

that's the real deal type thing.

- Mhm

- And with that comes, I
feel like, a lot of ego,

and almost like,

when people hear Jiu-Jitsu they hear UFC.

Which is not-

two very different things, by the way,

cage fighting and Jiu-Jitsu.

Two totally different mentalities.

- Yeah.

- And so what would you say to somebody

who's thinking about it,

but it makes me nervous to try it out.

You know, what do we think about that?

- I can't tell you how many times that

someone will walk into a gym

and I'd say 90% of the people,

they knew they were
going to start Jiu-Jitsu.

They know they wanted to do it

and they start getting in shape.

They go to the gym,

they start lifting,

and they get stronger a little bit.

They get a little momentum and boom,

they come into the gym.

I can't tell you how often that happens.


you don't need it.

You don't need strength.

You don't need it.

I mean,

my biggest and toughest matches
throughout my entire career,

have been guys that are
being much smaller than me.

- Yeah. I hate that.

My least favorite guy to go against,

is probably like 165, 170.

- Yeah, Alex. Remember Alex Hodi?

- Of course.

- Alex was like,

Alex and Jesse's another one.

Those are small- they're
much smaller than me.

I mean, Alex Hodi,

he's probably much lighter
than Jesse, but man,

they are just like,

you would never think so
much force could be generated

by somebody that's like
almost half my size.

- Yeah, and that's the most-

- So you don't need that muscle.

You just got to come in
and learn some techniques.

- What he's trying to say is,

you're going to be humbled

no matter what condition you're in.

- That's the truth.

- So you might as well
start sooner, than later.

Like there's really
nothing you can do next

at the planet fitness next door,

to prepare yourself for Jiu-Jitsu.

Now that being said, we make
the barrier of entry quite low.

- Yeah.
- Quite low.

Like we got a sixty-four year
old on the team last night.

- (both in unison) Sixty-four.

- Wow. That's amazing.

- You know, he's like active though.

He's like hockey player, like
really, really active stuff.

- Sixty-four is still sixty-four.

- That's my father's age, that's crazy.

Sixty-eight, are you getting comments on?

I've seen comments.

I wrote for the first time the other day.


How often you seen that
mentality in adults versus kids?

- Which one?

- Which mentality?

Timmy at your guys' school
is a stud and he's only 16.

Tommy, must be talking about Tommy.

He used to compete at 60, 68
kilograms. Oh, Brian Kahn.

Brian, were you supposed
to be in here yesterday?

I feel like we've set five
appointments for you, bro.

Like over the past two years.

I even said something.

I was like, what's going on with that?

And we didn't see you.

So we should get you on the mat.

But, the nerves and fear.

When you're describing nerves and fear.

- Yeah

- What's the question?

How often do you see that mentality

in adults versus children?

Always. Every person.

- Yeah

- Some of the kids are a
little bit more naive with it.

So you'll have, the kids who are like,

they're either deadly afraid,


with what's been going on with lockdown

and COVID and all that.
- Yeah

- So you've got the mentality-

I mean, talk about selling
ice in a snow storm.

You want everyone else stay six feet away,

don't touch other kids,

don't come anywhere.

And now we're like, Hey,
come get as close as you can,

and don't let the person go.

So, the kids have got that
mentality a little bit.

- Yeah.

- And so you have the one kids who,

they're just scared in general,

- Yeah.

- But then you have the others,
who are like their grin-

they walk in the door
and they're just high.

They're excited. They're vibrating.

They're vibrating.

- You know what's crazy is,
you could be five years old

and come in here and have never been

in a room full of other children.

- That is why that's,
- Yeah, we-

- That is mind blowing.

- Yeah, kids will come in,
parents will bring their kids in,

And you know,

I feel so bad because
they've never been exposed

to a room full of kids.

And it's like something they
only see on TV and movies.

- Yep.

- So that's,

I feel so bad when I see kids
that are gone through that,


- Let's see.

Might reply to a couple of these.

"How's it going?"

"This is sweet."

- Recommendation for joint
supplements, Jesse 100,

Dr. Joints,

Dr. Joints.

- They Dr. Joints.

- Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Joints is a great, great supplement.

Come down here and teach a judo class

and I'll get you a six months
supply of Dr. Joints for free.


- So how do you overcome the
nerves starting in Jiu-Jitsu?

We kind of answered it with,

just do it, which is, just do it,

it's a cliché answer, but it goes into,

we're going to get,

I'm going to put that on pause to get to

the next thing.

It's going to go into
our mental health thing.

It goes into like,

you have to have a really good reason

for why you're training.

If you're just trying
to like fill a one hour,

two hour time block in your day,

that's not going to be a
good enough reason to do it.

- Yeah.

- If you got a call
from your doctor saying,

Hey, listen, get in shape

or make funeral
arrangements in six months.

- Yeah.

- That's a better reason, you know?

But going into the mental health,

we'll cover that next.

I'm going to connect these two,

but coach, you wanted to talk about

the concept of contribution.

- Yeah.
- As a whole.

So I'll let you lead that out.

- So like contribution in Jiu-Jitsu,

I would say anybody watching this,

anybody that's been training
Jiu-Jitsu for a couple of years

would teach it for free.

- We did, like, we coached,

you coached for many years for free,

Like, cause you do like you, any high,

there's always this,

whether you are the "head coach" that day,

I can't tell you how many
of my teammates are like,

during open mat, you're rolling with them.

You're answering questions.

As a purple they were whites or whatever.

I was like, Hey, here man, do this.

Because again, like the
better you make the base level

of your team, the stronger
that the weakest link is,

the whole team's better.

So like it behooves me
to make them better.

So I'm helping them.

And they're like,

I can't tell you how much
I'm learning from you.

You know?

And it takes that mentality
of, you have to have that.

You're not gonna,

you have to be looking
to give back to the team.

- So if you'd like to,

let's say you go to the gym

and you see somebody there regularly

and they start to become
part of your shift,

- We're talking about Jiu-Jitsu academy?

- No, we're talking about like
weightlifting for example.

- Oh okay, right, right.

- We're talking about weigh
lifting, and you go into the gym

you're always there at
the same time, same area,

And you're running into the same people

and you start to develop some hellos

some friendships, you
know, some acquaintances.

And once that person's workout
is over, they gotta go.

They gotta go to work. They gotta go home.

They got responsibilities.
- Yep.

- But I can't tell you
it's practice for people

after they're done with their workout

to stay and contribute and help
somebody with their workout

to answer the questions:

Hey, what are you doing?

I noticed you're doing this exercise.

It's very, very common. That happens.

Jiu-Jitsu is

not only similar,

but like after the class is over,

I have sick kids I have to get home to,

after the class is
over, I have like family

and other work responsibilities and,

you know, I have to go.

But it's pretty common
that I stay, you stay.

And other people stay.

Cause we all have to get out of here.

We can't sleep here -
- Of course,

- to actually help other
people answer questions,

and just kind of do almost

like a little round
table and brainstorming

about what was going on that day.

So as far as contribution man,

Jiu-Jitsu is the epitome of giving back.

Everybody wants to give back in Jiu-Jitsu.

Cause you can feel the
changes in your physical

and your mental mindset,

that giving back is something
that you kind of feel.

It just, you feel obligated.

You'd feel wrong if you just
trained, got up, and ran away.

You know, without trying to
help the people around you.

- Yeah.

Yeah. That, and I think that's
something we even touch on

with our kids too though. Right?

We talk about, again,

I would say a great majority

of the parents who bring their kids in,

like self-defense is one.

Self-defense is one of
the things, but they,

they want their kids to
like be contributing members

of society, socialize with other kids.

What have you.

And so like,

one of the largest
compliments we get a lot is,

I always ask, How did the
other kids treat your kid?

Because if they were bullies,

I need to know that. Right?

I want to know that so that we can,

kind of address that behavior,

but they always say like,

I'm surprised, even then they
were helping the other kids.

- Yeah.

- So that builds into the culture.

And I think that comes from a-

it's you can't have a selfish mindset.

- Yeah.

- You can't have a selfish
mindset when you train.

- Yeah. Definitely.

- And so what else in
regards to contribution?

- So, you know, and
getting into contributing,

like in my opinion,

contribution and helping
and giving is a habit

and it's a muscle.

So, if you don't use it,

it doesn't become strong
and there's no muscle memory

to do it when you, when the
opportunity presents itself.

So, you know,

I think that contribution and
Jiu-Jitsu goes hand in hand

because you practice
helping people all day long

and it should, it should
translate outside of the mat,

outside of the gym.

And you should be helping
people in other areas,

other places, other things.

And contribution could be like,


it could be helping somebody
to open up the door for them.

It sounds cheesy, but
there's like this little,

little, it's like, it's a moral compass.

It's a voice.

It's your gut telling you
that somebody needs help.

And honestly, I believe,

God put it in all of us because we're here

to help and serve other people.


That's the goal.

And I think that, in Jiu-Jitsu,

it really nurtures that.

And it teaches you to serve the people

around you a little bit better.

- Yeah. And this isn't a, by no means,

is this a religious podcast,

but when you've got
Jiu-Jitsu Academy owned

by a Muslim and a Christian,

stuff like this is going
to come out, right.

So there's actually a
Bible verse that says:

To him that knows to do the
right thing and does not do it,

- Yep.
- that's sin.

So it's not just like,
avoid doing the wrong thing.

And you're good.

It's like, if you know
there's the right thing to do

and you don't do that, that's sin.

And so, like kind of the
same principle of like

you see someone and I've
actually been in this.

I don't now about you guys,
I've been in this position,

like we're driving somewhere,

And I see someone.

I'm actually one of like the 4% of men who

know how to change a tire
on the side of the road.

So I see someone with a f-,

it's a joke (chuckles).

- Bro, I have AAA, why
would I need to know

how to change a tire?

- Well sometimes, if you
got three hours to wait

for them to get there.

So you drive somewhere
and you see someone,

like I've seen someone
on the side of the road

and my initial thought
is I should help them.

- Yeah.

- But then like my selfish side comes in,

I was like , I'm too busy.

I guess I gotta be somewhere.
- Yeah.

- That's like there, I forget
what book I was reading.

It was talking about the importance -

it was planning your
schedule, but planning,

accommodating your schedule for -

he said, what did he say?

Schedule in randomness.

Like the flexibility
to do something random.

To do that,

the one voice was like, I should help him.

But then like the selfish
David was like, no,

I'm too busy.

And we were all, we can all say that.

We live in the fastest
paced probably society

that the world has seen.

Like everyone's got somewhere to be

and something they could be doing. So.

- And part of this,

a part of this came up.

So there's a Jiu-Jitsu family

that had a traumatic loss and a husband,

a wife lost her husband.

And they went through
some very traumatic time.

So we supported them and tried to help

raise some money.

And then, you know, we put it up there.

And by the way, if you're watching,

if you donated thank
you so much for donating

and they-

- She's very grateful.

- Very, very grateful.

So David's like, David looked at the post,

he's like, Hey man, just change it to say,

Somebody needs help even if it's a dollar.

- Yeah.

- And the truth is, giving is giving.

Whether you give a dollar or 500.

We had one person donate $500.

He's actually, Dr. Hazen,
thank you very much

for that donation.

We appreciate it.

And we have people donate
five and ten bucks.

And it's not about how
much you give it's the art

and the practice of giving and living,

incorporating that into your daily life,

giving and contributing.

So it's not how much you
give it's that you give.

It's not how much you help.
It's just that you help.

- Absolutely. And, I think it's out of

your capacity as well.
- Yeah.

So somebody who, you know,
like if you won't give,

I've always said this, like,

obviously donations and things like that.

Charity is, is huge part of my faith,

yours as well. Huge.

And, so, but I've always like,

it's easy to play the game.

Again, I'm guilty of this.

Like it's easy to play the
game, like when money was tight,

the first thing that has to be,

it's so easy for that to be
the first thing you cut. Right?

- Yeah.

- So easy for that to be
the first thing to cut.

But if you, can't give $1 out of 10,

you won't get 10,000 out of a million.

- Yeah.

- So don't fool yourself into being like,

Like don't fool yourself into being like,

once I've got plenty of money, I will.

- Yeah.
- Cause like you said,

it's a practice, it's a muscle memory.

And there's there's no expectation.

Like you can't have any
expectation with that.

You can't be like, I'm going to give

and then I'm gonna, I hope,

I get a shout out on Metro's
podcast for what I get.

That's not - none of these
people did that by the way.

They just gave,

because they had the capacity.

If they wanted the help,

they empathized with the situation.

They've probably been in a time

where they needed help before, you know?

So like all these things go into it,

and it is conducive to a
selfless, humble behavior.

- Yeah. So if you want
to take anything from it,


Give regularly.

We're encouraged, my school

and personal train of thought is like,

if I have a hundred
dollars to give this month,

don't give a hundred dollars
to one person, place,

thing, or organization.

Give 10 different people,

10 different organizations, 10 bucks each.

You reach more people that way.

So anyway, that gets back to like,

Jiu-Jitsu is all about
giving and contributing

and I definitely encourage
everybody to give and help.

I don't have everybody on that list,

but Nahed,

I don't know if you're on this,

she's a local insurance agent.

She donated a couple hundred bucks.

Her kids are actually at
another Jiu-Jitsu school.

- That's the community though.

- Yeah.
- Like you hear it,

And I know I've seen that
happen lots of times.

Like a Jiu-Jitsu sort
of brother, if you will.

I was on the phone with, with Chris,

from Allegiance and he was
just talking about like,

he's like, yeah,

if I'm going to go train with
my brothers down in Ohio,

he wasn't talking about
his - I don't even -

it's not an affiliate,
there's no affiliate in Ohio.

He was talking about just his,

his brothers that camaraderie
of people who train, you know?

So yeah, that's, I think
that's really cool.

- Yeah. I was talking to one of my cousins

yesterday and he works
for a company that sells

medical supplies and things
like that to physicians.

And obviously getting
inside the door, you know,

they get approached and they
get solicited all the time.

This guy said that he trained
with me like years ago.

And as soon as you Jiu-Jitsu
came up, he's like,

Mo I can't even tell you that guy's now

one of my best clients.

I don't know what happened.

And it just, as soon as I
mentioned Jiu-Jitsu, it was like,

not only did I get the account, you know,

he ended up being a really nice guy.

- That network, man.

- Yeah and he's done.

He's actually done very,
very well with the account.


and we got into arguing over
the comradery and brotherhood

of Jiu-Jitsu versus like
football and basketball.

So, that a whole -

- This is not a conversation.

This is not a conversation.

- That's a whole nother argument.

- What's your asking me is,

the comradery built over guys,

eating wings and drinking beer,

watching other people
be active and compete

- David.

- On a screen in a different city.

And you don't even know who they are.

You've never met them.

- Well, he was talking
about playing together.

- It's a slightly different,
but it's not the same.

- And it is football season.

So just choose your words carefully.

- (kisses teeth) Oh, come on.

Well, okay.
- Did the Lions win yesterday?

- Probably, I'm going to
know nothing about football.

I'm going to go out on
a limb here and say, no.

The Lions did not win.

That's kinda what they do.

So on that, on that topic -
- Thanks Brian.

- So we're gonna go into,

we're going to talk about mental health.

- Yeah.

- And actually, remind me,
because I want to segue into,

we can do it live, we can do it,

but that would be a group thing. Right?

The round table?

- Yeah that'd be a group thing

- Group thing.

Stay tuned for that group
thing, if you're on the team.

But I do want to go into mental health.

We've had a lot of
conversations personally,

amongst ourselves.

And, we always talk about why,

you know, cause we want-
people do quit Jiu-Jitsu.

Like they just, it's difficult.

It's difficult.

And, again, just like
your charitable donation

is the first thing to
cut out of your budget,

when money gets tight,

Jiu-Jitsu's a very easy thing to cut out

when your schedule gets tight.

When life happens, when you know,

so when we talk to people, we're like,

we forecast their life for them.

We'd be like, Sweet,
what's a year look like?

I talked to a guy last night.

I was like, cool,

you're getting married in eight months.

Does she know you're training here?

Does she know you're on the team now?

Are you able to still
train after you're married?

Are you committed to that?

Like, oh, you're going to go to college?

So you kind of future pay and
you think about these things.

And so, people quit for different reasons,

but ultimately why they
stay, goes back to the 'why'

Connecting it to the first question.

How do you overcome the
nerves and starting Jiu-Jitsu?

I can't,

it's tough.

Imagine me trying to
explain the ocean to you,

if you've never seen water.

How would you explain that to somebody?

Because that is the
vastness of the improvement

of the mental health
that you will experience

when you train.

But if you don't know, you don't know.

So like you've never seen water before.

I'm trying to explain to you
what the Pacific looks like

on a sun-

(to himself) rise on
the east, sets on the-

on a sunset, right?

So, how do you, I can tell you and say,

Oh, it's gorgeous.

It comes up over the horizon.

You didn't know what horizon is.

'Cause you've never seen water

and I'm telling you it's amazing.

And the wind and the waves and sea.

And so I can tell you all about it,

but you don't know,

because you've never
experienced it firsthand.

And so the mental health is
why people keep training.

How would you make it
as simple as possible?

What if someone,

cause if someone's got
depression, anxiety,

PTSD, it's a no brainer.
- Yeah.

- You kinda get like,

that's a really serious 'why'
you should be in here today.

Like I'll make room for
you on the mat today.

But what if- I wouldn't
classify myself as depressed.

And even if, when we were locked down

and I couldn't train, well,

I kind of was depressed then.

But like, if someone
wouldn't say my mental health

isn't bad, it's probably like
a six or seven out of 10.

- Yeah. So look.

We hear more and more about mental health

and there's a social stigma out there,

which means like if you're depressed

or you're feeling run down

or you're just feeling like not yourself

that is mental health.

That's my classification is mental health.

So I believe every
single person experienced

mental health issues.

Every single one of us.

David, myself, everybody listening.

But some people don't know
how to address it quickly.

So I experience mental health
issues every single day,

but I know how to kind of,

I've learned how to dial myself back in

and go put my mind and
my body into a place.

Even outside of Jiu-Jitsu,

that's going to kind of get
me a little bit more centered,

and say, Okay, this is
not the real reality.

This is not where I'm going
to be the rest of my life.

I'm not going to be in
this moment forever.

So I believe we experience
it every single day,

but it just a matter of
not being able to address

what's causing the mental health,

and doing something that's going to make,

give you, help you feel better
about yourself at that time.

So I think we all experience it.

Some people just live in that place.

- Can I - so I have those, you know,

I have no college degree.

Okay. I have no college degree,

but can I- someone used-
actually Coach Eric,

who's a doctor and I've
read this somewhere else.

They've compared the American
lifestyle to this, right?

So, you are,

we have a condition the
fight or flight response.

When stress happens
- Yup.

- 4,000 years ago, when
someone's invading our village,

that's a stressful situation.

You can fight, you can run, you can hide.

Those are your three options.

And in a stressful situation.

your body is fine-tuned and reacts

and releases hormones to,

re- and meet that stress.

Well, now imagine it.

And a good really good example was like,

imagine you're being chased by a T-Rex

or dinosaur, or bear or whatever.

Again, fight, run, hide.

Those are your three options.

So you go hide in a cave.

When the animal goes away,

you come out your body
resets back to normal.

Your now imagine that the T-Rex
is waiting outside the cave.

So you're staying in this heightened

sense of stressful situation.

Your body's running on that stre-.

It's running in a permanently

stressful, stressed environment.

Your alarm clock.

This is a stress inducing device.

If you don't know how to use it correctly.

Like this is,

but your phone is made
for your convenience.

Not everyone else's,

but that's not how it's used.

Then you get a text notification.

I got to reply to this real quick.

Let me just reply to this real quick.

I get all these notifications.

That's why everyone gives me a hassle

about my notifications.

I have no obligation to
reply to like most of those.

You know, some of them I do, but like,

the email from Best Buy promo,

it doesn't require my attention. You know?

And so when you're dealing with
that stressful environment,

if you don't have a way to
handle that mental health,

even if you wouldn't consider
yourself "depressed",

you may not realize,

just how stressed or tense or anxious

you were until you until after training.

And you're like, dude, I feel incredible.

Like I feel I, and I don't,

it's one of those things you don't feel,

you don't realize how maybe tight you were

until you get a massage.

You don't realize, you know,

it's things like that.

So you may not realize it.

And you could be accumulating
years and years and years

of stressful damage to your body,

that it ultimately is going
to reach a breaking point.

And so it's like a maintenance level.

Do you agree with that?
- I would.

So what are some,

if we could simplify it,

what are a couple of things

that are good for mental health?

And I think most of these people,

my sister is actually on this one,

but most of the ones that
are listening are guys,

and I know in your
platinum coaching business

where you work with husbands.

I think mental health comes up often?

- Huge, yeah.
- Yeah.

Mental health comes up in your business.

So when you're coaching those guys

in the Elite Husband Program,

like what are some things,

what are a couple of
things you might share

that you help the guys
with dealing with that,

without getting into your entire program,

- Sure.

- What are some easy changes to make?

Cause we, like I said,

we all get here.

- So you gotta, re- like you hit it,

recognize it.
- Okay.

- You know, you have to recognize it.

And you have to look into

like you had mentioned,

you have a system and you recognize it

and you reset yourself.
- Yeah.

- You sort of reset yourself.

I do the same thing, right?

Like if you ever got,
you have to evaluate,

if you're just that feeling of stress,

it could be caffeine.

It could be whatever.

Caffeine probably doesn't help,

but you're like, I'm just,
I'm stressed and anxious.

Then you have to do like
sort of a reality audit

and be like, why?


Is there an actual legitimate reason?

And then the answer is, while there may be

a "legitimate reason",

there's also a lot more
to be grateful for.

So like that gratitude, you
know, that mindset of gratitude.

And I would say a combination
of gratitude and intention.

Train at your- live
your day with intention,

live your day with gratitude,
live your day with those two.

Really those two principles.

So I'm going to be
grateful for what I have,

and I'm going to be intent
on a vision that I've set,

and I'm going to chase
this and work towards this.

Even if it's 1% closer to that.

- Yeah.

- Or a fraction of a
percent closer to that.

- So I'll share something that I do.

First thing in the morning,

one of the first things
in the morning that I do

is I will go make a donation, someplace.

So like, this is my tip on
how you to get into a place

of gratitude because
gratitude equals altitude.

The more grateful you
are for what you have,

the more your brain is going to search

for things to be grateful for.

So if you're like, oh, my
I'm grateful for A, B and C.

I'm grateful for my
children, my girlfriend,

my wife.

I'm grateful for my car.

It could be a car.

It could be things that
you can see and touch.

I'm grateful for my worship
or place of worship.

If you first thing in the morning,

I like to give something physical.

That that's just me.

So first thing in the morning,

I will go and make a
donation and drop it off.

And it could be a dollar.

It could be five dollars.

And it could even be
one of those things at

the gas stations that
you donate for the poor,

or for people in need or whatever.

Who cares what the logistics are.

Who it's going to, where it's going,

you're doing it for yourself.

You're helping yourself
by giving somebody else.

So you could feel grateful.

You're probably,

you should almost never
know who you're giving to

and who you're helping.

But if you get into a place of gratitude

by giving first thing in the morning,

that completely changes
the tra- tra trajectory?

- Tra-jec-tory.

- Trajectory of the day.

The other thing I would say is,

is like you said, we'll
use work as an example.

Man, you were so miserable
about going to today's job.

Specifically, today's.

Not your overall job,

because if you're not happy
at where you're working,

you need to get the hell out of there.

- Facts.
- So yeah,

if you're not happy
about doing today's job

and you choose not to go,

you already know the pain
that you're going to feel

from not going to the
job later in the day.

So, what I like to do is, you know,

for the training, on the
days that I do train,

and you know, something's holding me back

or whatever, I think,

well, if I don't go to
the gym or I don't train,

how am I going to feel?

And I immediately get neurons
and my nervous system starts

to feel what's going to
happen, if I don't exercise.

And I immediately, I do
a cost-benefit analysis.

- Absolutely.

- And then I'm like,
you know what, actually,

if I don't train,

then I'm going to feel
worse than this today.

- The cost is too high.

- Yeah.
- That's a great 'why'.

- And I'm not talking
about long-term health,

I'm talking about my,
mental health tonight.

If I don't go to the gym,

and tonight is here,

how am I going to feel tonight?

I'd rather feel uncomfortable right now,

and feel a little bit better at night.

- Absolutely.

I think gratitude is a big one.

Gratitude is a big one.

I have one more portion
of this mental health.

John says, I would say Jiu-Jitsu's
helped my mental health,

I have chronic depression
and high functioning anxiety.

I show up anxious and unmotivated,

but I leave hungry for more.
It's an amazing feeling.

A hundred percent John.

Yeah, absolutely.

Best way to mental health is,

to learn to listen to the
heart and not the brain.

You know, that's a, that's
an interesting expression.

You know, the term hearts is like,

that's what Americans use
and the world use today

for like our inner feelings, right?

Like why not the kidney?
Why not the liver?

- Yeah.

- You know, cause it's just
as important as the brain.

So, but I would agree with that, Mark.

Like you're saying, most
important time to be grateful

is right before falling asleep.

Best time to have intent
is upon awakening.

So, listen to the heart, not the brain.

I would just say,

Yeah. I think being grateful and-

cause our brain can deceive us.

I think our brain can deceive us.

Take, for example, reading
into somebody's motives.


So if you've got, take for example,

so you mentioned you've got,

you've got mental health things, right?

- I do.

And, we're having a conversation,

and you talk-to-text a lot,

which can, always doesn't
help the situation.

So it could come off short. Right?

And I was like, well, what's his problem?

Cause if I'm reading into something,

and I don't trust my brain,

if I'm reading into something
and I was like, well,

what's his problem?

He's got an attitude with me.

So now, and he's just talked-to-texting,

with his AirPods.

It's not picking up everything.

He's probably driving, came up short.

So now,

I'm upset with him

about a motive he didn't mean to have.

- Yeah.

- And then, and then that's gonna affect

the way I treat him.

So then now, and this is
like a case perfect marriage.

So now I'm upset with him

for something he didn't mean to have.

So I get an attitude
with him and he's like,

Well now what's David
being a jerk for like,

then you, sort of get slighted back to me,

and then it gets like this
sort of downward type thing.

So that's why state the facts. Okay.

Like, look at the facts.

He sent me a text and he said, okay.

That means everything's okay.

That means everything's
okay. Like if you say, okay,

I'm not going to read into that.

And then always, you can
tell way more in person,

way more in person than
in then in remotely.

So Mindy says,

have a sergeant's heart,
look for people around

who may need you just to
talk, shoulder to cry on.

That alone will give you
gratitude, for a way to look,

to help others. And that will lift you up.

Knowing you were there for
people during difficult times

also shows you to be more
thankful for what you have

or how easy your life is. Yeah.

Talking to people, you
know and perspective.

I think what she's getting
at is perspective there too.

So case in point,

the family that we're raising money for

it would be really easy for
me to be like my, you know,

to be upset about something
I have to do today,

but am I a widower?

No. Did I lose my spouse?

No. So in perspective,

that's a really selfish mindset,

to be angry about something
so mundane, so simple,

so little, when there's tons of other,

you can always find.

So that perspective of like,

man, I really do have a
lot to be grateful for.

You know, I really do have
a lot to be grateful for.

- And you know, you want to
talk about a positive circle.

Like Mindy, if she's still watching,

Mindy is one of our,

Mindy's enrolled in our program.

Her husband's in the program,

her kids are in the program

and before she recruited everybody else.

- Yeah.


- Mindy recruited the whole family.

Before she recruited everybody else,

do you wanna talk about getting back

to one of today's topics, is contribution.

Contribution in the mental health,

which is what we're on now.

Positive circle.

Mindy is probably the last one.

She has three kids and
then she has two dogs.

She works full time. Her
husband works full time.

But when they go to tournaments with us

they are the last one there.

- Yeah.

- They're the last ones there.

They make sure they see
all the competitors.

And you think they're like,
they're the head coaches there.

Do you want to talk
about a positive circle?

Like how could you not give back

to somebody like that in your circle?

Regardless what position
or what role you play,

when you see somebody selflessly
giving all of their time

to contribute to a circle
that they know is positive.

You have to give back to her.
- Yeah.

- Hey, by the way, speaking
of giving back, Mindy.

Is Mindy still on ?

Okay. Well, if she is on, (audio glitches)

ask for a donation.

They're doing a 5K marathon

and I got hit up by three of her kids.

All three.

So post that on my personal.

Like a dollar or five dollars.

Challenge yourself to give to something.

It doesn't matter what,

but Mindy go ahead and
post that on my personal

and her kids go to a private school.

And they're just doing raising money

for like a little walk-a-thon.

- Yep.

They, I don't know if you're still-

she says, I'm here yeah.

- Yeah. Post it on my
personal, if anybody wants to,

you know, got anything out
of this, give a dollar.

Give five bucks.

- Jamie says, another one of-

Jiu-Jitsu has helped my confidence.

He's a pretty head up,
I believe (indistinct).

It's helped me become a
better leader at work.

A better father, partner
at home. Absolutely.


A hundred percent.

And so we talked about it,

and we'll just kinda close this up with,

here, the, the positive circle.

Yes. Be grateful.

Yes. You know, keep things in perspective.

Yes. All of that.

But the positive circle,
there comes a point,

like to tie it back.

I joke. Okay.

Like I spent a long time
in Monroe, but like,

I had a lot of negative
influences in Monroe.

I've got like a whole
negative history in Monroe.

I needed to get out of there. Okay.


There's a lot of people

I'm sure are doing great things.

Coach Todd, perfect example,

doing great things in Monroe, you know?

So, I think it's important to
know when to let something go,

let a relationship go.
- Yeah.

- It doesn't- not prematurely.

Right. And so this is
where that wisdom comes in.

Not prematurely, but realize
like, this is where I,

Simon Sinek did an interview.

- Well, real quick, you want
to talk about letting go?

That's I mean, we only have
like another minute, but yeah.

So the clients that you work with,

the easiest thing to do
is let go of your circle

and or marriage.
- Yeah.

- So give us a tip on how you hold on.

- I've made a promise to stick

with one person my entire life.

- Okay. - That's it. So that's my wife.

And I took an oath. I took a promise.

- Okay, it's pretty simple.

- It's me, that question comes down to-

- So, keep your word.

- Yeah.

Are you a man of your word or not? Yeah.

And how important is that promised you.

But positive circle, when
to go, when to leave,

and then seeking out people.

It literally is as simple
as seeking out people

who are where you want to be.

- Yeah.

- Like that's it.
- Yep.

- And you will never, ever be criticized.

(audio glitches)

You will never.

You will never be talked down by like,

the millionaire is never going to make fun

of your lemonade stand.

For you trying to raise some money.

He's never going to do it.

He's probably going to
support you. You know?

So just that positive circle, it's huge.

That is,

I'm excited to talk about the night's

round table tonight.

In our member's group
were probably immediately

after this, we'll post something in it.

But we have anything to add before,

for the last 60 seconds?

Where we at in here?

- Let me see if we have
any other questions.

- We got a lot of screens bro.

I think that there's
this app I got check out

where you can have it on like one screen.

- No, it looks, oh my God.

We met our a $3,000.

- Awesome. Thank you guys.

- For everybody who donated.
- Thanks you guys.

- Thank you guys. I'm going
to send a message out there.

So, I would just ask, find
something, someplace, somebody.

Give five bucks.

- Absolutely.

- Anything.

Just give, go, give, and go do something

and watch how much you
get in return for that.

- And if you don't have
money, give your time.

- Yeah.

- Time is money, so.

All right guys.

Well, thank you so much for tuning in,

the questions.

Love it all.

All the support. We'll
be here next Tuesday.

Another podcast.

As always, we'll see you,

(in unison) on the mats.

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